I've been thinking a lot about my friend Toby today. For those of you who don't know, Toby was a Welsh Corgi who was my friend from the time I was 16 until I was 28 years old. I believe that Jesus gave him to me to be my friend because both of us really needed each other at that time.
When Toby came to live with me, I had just experienced some very hurtful things from the fundamentalist church my family attended and from the school operated by that church. I was also dealing with serious health problems, and I needed a friend. Toby's former owners were being mean to him, and they weren't taking care of his health problems.
Toby and I were great friends, and the years we were together were the best years of my life.
I've been thinking about some of the things I wish we'd done together, and I've been thinking about what we would do now if he was still alive.
I wanted to be a pastor of a church when I was a young man. I went to Bible college even though I felt as if I was already pulling away from the rigid fundamentalist religion of my parents. When I finished Bible college, our denomination said that I was too liberal, and my politics we're too leftist. They kicked me out. I thought about becoming a minister in a different denomination, and I also thought about starting an independent church. I was very tired of organized religion at that time, and I didn't do it. The mainline churches have always thought I'm too conservative, and the conservatives thought I was too liberal. I did become an ordained independent minister, and the Lord has allowed me to minister through writing, here on the blog, and I've worked in evangelism.
What does this have to do with Toby? I really wish that I would have gone with him and started a church in an area where we could have helped people facing a hard time. I really regret that we didn't do that together.
I also wish that we would have tried to hike on the Appalachian Trail together. Neither of us was ever in good shape, but it would have been fun to try.
We did many fun things during our years together. I miss him every day. I wish that he was still around after my parents passed away 11 years ago. I know that my life right now would be much better and very different. We would have traveled all over the US. We liked to travel and go places. We did take a lot of trips together, but if he was here right now, we'd find some way to see all the lower 48 states. We might have to stop and work a little to get some money, but we'd make it and have fun because we were together.
If Toby was here now, I wouldn't be as sad as I am now. When he was around, I always knew that someone cared about me. I think that Jesus brought him into my life so that I would know that I was loved for who I was.
I can't know for certain where our paths would have led, but we would be together, and that's all that really mattered.
I hope that you will really do the things that you want to do in this life. I let others discourage me, and I wish I hadn't.
I know that Toby and I will be together again with Jesus one day. I am looking forward to it.
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